Newborn Pics Sneak Peek

Week 1 & 2: What I've Learned So Far

• Point the wiener DOWN
• Circumcision is worse for mommy than for baby - he was fine in 48 hours
• It's not about me anymore
• The schedule is great, but he won't always sleep/wake on schedule perfectly
• It's fun to get out and go somewhere, even if it's just a quick cup of hot chocolate after the pediatrician

Baby's first trip to Sideboard!

• Invest in a pumping bra = FREEDOM!

Best $35 I've spent in a LONG time

• Stay off the phone while your nursing and just enjoy the moment with your little baby
• Pumping time = me time for phone, web, etc.
• Take a minute to rest, watch TV or veg as a family
  

  

  So Sweet.

The Hospital Bag...What I REALLY Needed!

I posted earlier about what I was packing in my bag for the hospital. 

Admittedly this list changed a bit once I found out I was having a scheduled c-section...

So, here's the list, updated to note what I brought and if I used it.

We ended up spending 4 days, 3 nights in the hospital.  For Days 1 & most of Day 2 I wore a hospital gown, hospital socks and hospital panties.  Even though I had a c-section, things were often times a bit gross and wearing their stuff just sounded better than messing up mine.  Plus on days 1 & 2 I was so sore, changing into real clothes sounded miserable.  By the evening of Day 2 I was in my own nightgowns and robes though and it made a world of difference in how I felt.

Stuff for me to wear/use:
2 pairs of nursing PJs  I bought some soft, casual nighties + robe sets from TJMaxx.  At $19.99 each they were a steal and I am still wearing them almost every night.  The nighty is perfect to avoid my incision.
1 maxi dress for going home Brought it, never wore it
1 nursing bra Brought it, never wore it
Robe Wore the ones I got with my PJs every day
Yoga Pants Wore them
Nursing tank Wore it
Slippers  Wore them, loved them
Toiletries - including travel toiletries, hair dryer, round brush, hair ties Didnt wash my hair or shower, ended up taking sponge baths which worked just fine
Velcro towel wrap Didn't shower, didn't need it
Flip flops  Wore them home
Chap stick Didn't use it
Grippy socks   Didn't use them - PS your feet will swell like CRAZY potentially, mine feet actually muffin topped in my socks from home so I never wore them again.

Post Partum panties Wore hospital panties, they were awesome
Nursing pads & gel pads Didn't use them
Nipple cream Hospital supplied this
Soft throw blanket Hubby used this
Pillow from home Hubby used this
Snacks Hospital had a pretty good selection of free drinks and snacks in the "Nourishment Room" for patients and spouses.  I didn't have much appetite while I was at the hospital.

Stuff for baby to wear/use:
Going home outfit (NB and 0-3mo) Turns out we had a tiny baby, so he wore a way too big for him short sleeve newborn onesie home.  It's going to be a good, long while before he's ready to wear 0-3 month anything, LOL!
Swaddle Sack Nurses and hubs kept baby swaddled in hospital blankets
Mittens Used several pairs of these
Light swaddle blanket  Used this on the car ride home
Medium weight blanket Didn't use this
Burp rags Didn't use 
Pacis Didn't use 
For our hospital they provide diapers, wipes, etc. and baby stays in the room with you 24/7 unless baby is sick and needs to be in the nursery.

So what would I bring again?
Soft nighty and robe (2)
Slippers (1 pair)
Flip Flops (1 pair)
Yoga Pants (1 or 2 pair)
Nursing Tank (1 or 2)
Toiletries and Light Makeup
Soft Blanket and Pillow for Hubs
Going home onesie for baby (2)
Light swaddle blanket
Mittens for baby
Socks for baby
Camera

Carter: 1 Week Photos

Carter's Birth Story

Carter Michael Bruce was born on August 11th at 8am.  Sandwiched right between his Daddy's birthday (the 9th) and his Grandpa's birthday (the 14th).  

The morning of Carter's birth Corey and I woke up at 4:45am in order to make it to the hospital by 6am.  I think we must have both set 4 alarms to make sure we didn't accidentally sleep in.  I was surprised to be roused by the alarm...meaning I'd apparently gotten some real shut eye the night before this life changing event.

We showered and Corey made fun of me that I was giving myself a serious blow out before heading to the hospital.  Let's get real...I knew two things for certain...

1.  I was not going to be getting to spend this much time on my hair for the foreseeable future - who knows when my next shower was going to be!

2.  There were about to be a lot of pictures taken of me!

Vanity was the one thing I felt I had some semblance of control over that morning as I round brushed my hair to death and put on a cute sweatsuit.  We jumped in the car which we'd pre-packed the night before.  We hit some 580 traffic and made some small talk but as we got closer to the hospital I felt the tears and jitters coming on. Birth is an interesting thing...Planned birth especially.  You have all the anxiety of surgery coupled with the excitement of your sweet little baby arriving.  I teared up as I got a few texts from friends who were up early and rallying to encourage me.  

We pulled up to the hospital and checked in with the nurses, I was sniffly and scared.  Everyone was so nice to me.  I wanted so badly to be tough, really tough, but I was terrified and staring down the clock watching it tick-tock closer to 7:30, our surgery time.   My husband and I prayed for my surgery and for our baby. Two nurses brought us back to our room and gave me a gown and some socks to change into. Then they put me in bed and started fishing around my hand trying to put in an IV line.  Finally successful, I laid back as they started the drip.  

The anesthesiologist breezed in our room next and made small talk.  He was so kind and made the biggest effort to connect with me.  He told me all about his wife (who is an OB) and his two children.  My doctor came in next, a man of few words as always, he asked how I was...I whimpered.  He didn't indulge it one bit, asked if I had any questions and simply reassured me it would be good and he'd see me in the OR shortly.

From there a new nurse came in, Carla, and she walked me to the OR, leaving Corey in the room until after my spinal was over.  Walking yourself to surgery is a strange experience.  That's when I guess I sort of clicked into game face mode.  This was happening.  I was about to not only get cut open, but meet my little son.  As much as I wanted to run out of there screaming (wouldn't THAT have been interesting), praying Carter would be waiting in a basket on our doorstep from Amazon, that was not what was going to happen and my body just kicked in and cooperated with situation.  Once in the operating room, the OR nurse assisting (Farah) was a cute Persian lady...just another fun coincidence that calmed me down seeing as she just felt familiar to me right off the bat.

I was sat on the edge of the OR table leaning forward, head looking down.  The Dr. talked me through the entire procedure for my spinal and as downright petrified as I was...It barely hurt a bit. I tried to do what I was told as I shook like a leaf in fear.  I was happy that in the end it was way less of a big deal for me than I'd built it up to be and for a moment I thought...I could totally go through that part again for Baby #2.  They laid me back on the table quickly noting that I did not have much spinal curvature.  From there I started to go numb.  A pins and needles feeling all over my legs and torso.  I must have asked the doctor 10 times if I was really numb enough.  He finally told me he had just pinched my leg hard and I obviously didn't feel that so he was confident things were working.

The OBs (mine and another assisting) came in chatting about classic cars and their weekend.  I asked again if I was numb enough and the docs said they'd already gotten started on the surgery so...I guess I was, ha!

Corey was brought in quickly and sat up near my head.  From there I felt nothing but was completely with it and wide awake.  I felt some pushing and movement in my abdomen but was so numb I couldn't tell what was what.  And nothing about it hurt.  Twice I saw stars, never dizzy, just flickering.  I told the anesthesiologist and he pushed some drug that made them stop.

We waited to hear a baby cry...it was taking a while.  I could hear the docs talking and trying to get Carter out.  What was supposed to take 5-6 minutes felt like it was taking an eternity since baby was transverse breech.  Finally baby was out and the doctors were laughing exclaiming "He's Peeing!".  I panicked thinking..."Not in ME I hope!!!".   Everyone started saying Happy Birth Day!  It was so sweet.  The doctors then asked what is name was.  I looked over my shoulder at Corey and said "Carter?".  We'd talked about names and had 2 final names, but I didn't feel like we'd REALLY committed to one of them.  We agreed quickly and said, "Carter!".  The Dr.s at that point had wooshed him over the the pediatrician at the baby warmer and we heard his first cry.  It sounded like the cutest tiny, little, gurgly, angry tiger cub.  He was mad!  They cleaned him up and checked his APGAR (9).  Carter was baby perfection.

They called Corey over to (re)cut the cord.  Come to find out the cord was wrapped like a lasso around his little abdomen, trapping one arm as well.  That was why he never turned head down, he couldn't after getting himself stuck like that.

They wrapped Carter up and handed him to Corey. Once in daddy's arms he settled down and stopped hollering instantly.  Everyone in the room remarked on what a perfect looking little baby he was.  It was so sweet watching Corey look at our son.  I had to ask to see the baby, haha, everyone else was admiring how adorable he was.  They quickly brought baby over to my face and I got to kiss him and say hi to him.  I was bewildered and in awe at him.  He was SO CUTE.  I had made it through the surgery and my baby and I were healthy.  

As I looked at him I just felt mixed emotions.  I loved him so much and absolutely couldn't believe he came out of me yet, I was still shell shocked from having surgery.  Much like the tangle of emotions on the drive over, just a couple of short hours earlier, this felt similarly odd and wonderful all at the same time.  Because of this little man I'd had serious surgery, but because of this little man I was a mommy.  

Once I was sutured up, they transferred me over to a hospital bed and we were wheeled back to our room.  The baby was in his little baby box right next to me and I finally got to hold him skin to skin and breastfeed him for the first time.  I was still completely numb from abdomen down as I lay there.  They put compression boots on my legs to prevent clots.

The following hours and even days were a beautiful blur of bonding with our precious son, nurses, nurses and more nurses, tests for me and for him, awkward husband/wife moments (ummm...can you change my maxi pad on honey?), a few visitors (grandparents and my friends Renee and Ashley) and pain...quite a bit of pain.  However, every time I looked at that baby I felt like I'd do it for him all over again, no questions asked.  

Within a few hours of his birth I was sitting up and dangling my legs over the edge of the bed. It seemed like ever walking again would be an impossible task, but that evening I was walking a tiny bit around the room.  The next morning the catheter was pulled which didn't hurt at all (nothing like the threat of peeing yourself in the hospital bed to get you on your feet!) along with the IV and I started moving more and more at the advice of friends who'd gone through a c-section before.  I stayed on a mostly liquid diet (soups, jellos, etc) for a couple of days mainly because I was afraid to poop, haha!  Everything in my abdomen just was so sore and going pee was such an ordeal.  The next day I took off the hospital gowns and started wearing my own PJs which helped me feel more human. I took washcloth baths vs using the shower because just the thought of showering, toweling off and getting dressed was exhausting to me.  Every day got better and better though pain and discomfort wise.

Friday morning we felt ready to head home.  Enough of the hospital!  Poppy Ron was visiting us and helped Corey pack everything up.  We left the hospital at 5pm and got home at 5:30pm.  God was most certainly watching over us as we got from San Ramon to Livermore in under an hour at rush hour on a Friday night.  

Carter spent his first hour at home fast asleep in his car seat and we began our journey fumbling hilariously through newborn life with our sweet little son, Carter Michael Bruce.

The Truth About C-Sections

The days leading up to my c-section I read A LOT about them.  Whether you loved your c-section or you're sad that you are not able to deliver vaginally for whatever reason, I came to the conclusion that ultimately, everyone's experience with not just sections, but birthing in general is very individual.   The way you feel about what happened and how good or bad or painful or not painful it was or will be is ultimately a personal thing that you can't necessarily plan for, you just have to experience.

What I will say is that if you'd really told me start to finish how everything was going to go I would have told you that there's no way I'd be strong enough or brave enough to do it...the thing is though, you are and I was.

As far as sections go, mine was planned and overall, uncomplicated.  Based on my section, here are the questions I had going into it and now can answer based on now having gone through it. I read a lot online about other women's experiences and to be honest, there are a lot of drama queens out there.  Put on your big girl panties, have a little cry in the car on the way to your surgery if you need to (if it's a scheduled C) and know that you can and will get through it and you will likely feel back to normal sooner rather than later! Attitude is everything!  I'm not a Dr. so this is just my experience, not medical advice.

1.  Will my c-section hurt?
As with all of the answers I'm about to share, remember each experience is individualized...But I think most of us first time moms fear the pain of childbirth no matter what.  The short answer is Yes, there are parts of what is about to happen that will range from unpleasant to god-awful...but what I know for sure is that it's worth it!  For me, the surgery itself was painless, the recovery was the hard part.

• The Bad: After surgery, when I got up from bed or sitting, I wanted to punch gravity in the face for existing, the initial moments of going from sitting/laying down to standing hurt. Take a deep breath (or 5), use that hoo-hoo-heeeeee breathing you learned about in the movies and count to 3, having someone help you very slowly rise.  
• The Good:  It gets better and eventually the pain will END!  Every day I was in less pain and found workarounds to make things easier.  I felt nearly normal (on pain meds) by Day 3.  By Day 5 I felt virtually no discomfort (on Motrin as needed).  I wish I'd done more arm strengthening exercises during my pregnancy to help me get around and situate myself since I couldn't use my core muscles post-op.

2.  How do I manage the pain?
First and foremost, take your pain medication as directed by your Dr. and do not get behind, or off schedule.  Take your stool softener!  Don't try to be overly tough!  Secondly, I found moving and walking helped me to feel better.  On days once I got home if I didn't move as much or take a walk, I was stiff and sore.  Breathing and affirmations helped me as well.  I used the breathing techniques I learned in childbirth class to power through the painful moments like standing up from bed, or sitting down on the toilet (next time bringing a toilet seat riser, seriously!).  I also told myself out loud that I was strong and I could handle it.

3.  What does a spinal feel like?
My anesthesiologist was amazing.  The morning of my C I was terrified as the events started happening.  Using his finger nails he pushed and prodded in between my vertebrae to assess where to do the block.  This part hurt a little, but I think much of that was because I was so tense and terrified for the needle part coming next.  He gave me several quick shots of local anesthetic (barely hurt, felt like little pinches) and then he inserted the spinal needle (I didn't feel anything really).   I could feel him pushing in the medicine and my spinal nerves tingled (not painful, but more a very strange sensation).  They laid me on my back quickly after the needle was out and I started to go numb in my lower body.  It felt like pins and needles in my legs (not painful) at first, then felt like nothing/numb.  

4.  Does the surgery hurt?
No. You are awake, fully with it and present mentally.  I experienced some sensation of awareness that the doctors were doing something down there in my belly but, zero pain though as they worked to get baby Carter out.  Twice during the surgery I started to see stars, the doctor pushed some meds into my IV and I was fine again.  Remember, it's normal to feel nervous about major abdominal surgery that you are awake for but know your adrenaline will help power you through it.  You can do it!

5.  How long is the recovery?
We stayed 4 days, 3 nights in the hospital.  By day 4 post-op I felt decent.  I'm 5 days post op now and getting around well at home.  I was able to walk upstairs from the first night at home. I can carry the baby up and down the stairs, get up and down from sitting and can even get up from laying down in bed as long as I have my step stool.  I don't have much appetite thanks to the medication I think.  Today, hubs and I took baby for a 20 minute walk outside in the stroller and I felt just fine.  My incision site is sore and I have no ab muscles which makes tasks challenging but not painful. I have not looked at my incision per the advice of other c-section survivors, my hubs takes a peek every day to make sure it looks ok and that's that.  *updated!* I'm now three weeks post and I feel pretty much 100%!  Still need to regain my core strength but the only discomfort I have now is from hemorrhoids. *updated I'm now 12 weeks post op and completely back to normal.  I am exercising, running, doing everything I did before I was pregnant and no worse for wear.

6.  Anything else you wished you'd known...
From day 1, air out your incision.  Take 10 minutes a few times a day to make sure it gets some fresh air and stays dry.  I bought a little portable mini-fan once I was home to help blow dry it out.  Blot it dry with a clean towel (I used a clean washcloth) after you get out of the shower and either blow dry it (on cool) or fan it after to make sure no moisture is trapped (that can cause yeast to grow).

Your incision will be OK when you shower, it won't hurt to shower.

This is gross, but...you will smell a lot down there because all of the fluids, meds & lining from your uterus that comes out after your give birth.  Once your catheter is out (for me it was 24 hours after delivery, and taking it out did not hurt at all) you and your husband will likely get really close as he helps you to the potty and puts on your maxi pads for you.  

I'd advise you google "first pregnancy poop" so as not to be caught off guard by the final hurdle of childbirth that comes a few days after baby ;)  Like I said earlier, just take your stool softener and consider having a tube of Prep-H at the ready.

Your guts won't fall out when you start to do sit-ups again.  Just go slow and listen to your body, if it hurts, take another week off and try again!

In the hard moments, the thing to remember is the pain DOES get better and when you see the product of it, your healthy baby, you will realize it was all worth it and may even be crazy enough to say you'll do it again someday.

*updated 2017!*  I'm in my 3rd trimester with #2, hired a Doula and trying for an unmedicated VBAC!  See...crazy enough to do this baby thing all over again ;)

C-You Soon

I think you know that tomorrow is going to be your birthday...you're awake, swinging around in my stomach like a wild thing.

In just a few hours you will be born.  Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, I am actually tired and wish I could get some sleep.  There are a lot of friends and family praying over us tonight that I'd get some rest before our big day. 

But you've started your birthday party early I think...

Week 38

The word for Week 38 is UNCOMFORTABLE.  This little baby is taking up every inch of my insides.  Sleeping is near impossible, my belly is so heavy and Im waking up anywhere between 4-6 times a night to potty.  The heartburn is nearly constant.  

Week 38 is also the unexpected early end of my pregnancy!

At Week 36 we found out baby is breech, Week 38 we confirmed  again via ultrasound that baby was not turning on his own.   

I received a lot of advice from friends and family hoping to help me avoid a c-section.  Funny thing about it all was that from the minute my doctor said the "C" word I was at peace.  What I knew was that God was orchestrating the perfect way in which my baby was supposed to enter into this world and if surgery was that way, that was OK by me.

I think once we confirmed he was breech I realized he'd been sitting that way in me for several weeks.  I just hope his head doesn't have any weird smushed parts seeing as I've been poking at it thinking erroneously it was his baby butt!  

I guess this is nature's way...make it so icky for mommy at the end that all she wants to get.this.baby.out!  I cannot imagine if he came at 41 weeks, I would have been one hot mess.

So...here we are, Week 38... 6 days until our baby will make his debut!

August Adventures

#august adventures

Saturday morning Corey and I were sitting in the back yard enjoying some sun & Starbucks (his: hazelnut latte, hers: coconut milk vanilla latte).  We started talking about what we were going to do with our day (his: go to his parents and pick up some stuff hers: go to the barn and read People magazine).

It was shaping up to be Saturday just like any other.  Yet, one of our last kid-less Saturdays ever.

I felt like we needed to go have an adventure, as much of an adventure as a couple can have at 37 weeks pregnant.  I wanted to see the ocean, put my feet in the sand.  This is where living on a coast comes in real handy.

Within the span of 20 minutes, we decided to take 2 of our 3 dogs with us and head to Fort Funston, a dog beach that some friends of ours love to take their dog to.  Funston is about an hour away from us, near San Francisco.  

Co-pilots

We arrived and it was overcast but surprisingly pleasant out.  

Where are we?  Lou looks like he's still waking up...

So turns out one thing we didn't know about Fort Funston is you have to hike about a mile and a half in the sand to get to the beach.  Hmm...

I've been doing morning walks daily, some days I get further than others and some I definitely hit the 2-3 mile mark no problem.  I waddled along the sandy man made trail through the ice plants like a seal flopping along on land, stopping every few minutes to catch my breath.

Me in my current spirit animal form stopping to rest every 5 minutes...this baby seal is infinitely more adorable tho ;)

We saw the ocean up ahead, we also saw the last quarter mile of the path to the beach...it was straight, steep and 100% downhill.  Getting down it, not so hard...coming back up it...well, I was fairly certain it was going to put me into labor.

Once we got to the beach the dogs played like crazy.  The interesting thing about this place is that although there were literally tons of dogs, everyone was so friendly!  I didn't hear one snap or snarl the entire time.  Everyone was off-leash and loving life with tennis balls flying, games of chase and sticks being buried for safe-keeping.  I'm not sure if it was just because people knew well enough to only bring nice doggies to the beach, or that when left off-leash and uninhibited with PLENTY of room to run around dogs just naturally figure it out and play fair.  Whatever it was, it was seriously fun.

Louie watching Gunner in the water, you can see Gun's black ears in that giant splash of water to the left....

Gunner having the best day of his life

Lou shaking off the sand

Me and Gun Gun

Wet and happy

Fetching the tennis ball in the ocean

The belly at the beach

I did make it through 1.5 mile uphill hike back to the car...barely.  The views on the way back were so pretty.  I ended the last 100 steps of our trek with a crazy stitch in my side that wouldn't quit.  I joked with Corey that if I went into labor on the way home I wouldn't be one bit surprised.  But, here we are a day later and Baby B is still snug inside, not even so much as a Braxton Hicks contraction.

Those views!   You can see the Golden Gate bridge off to the right side.

Exhausted pups.