Fetal Testing and Anxiety Over The "Announcement"

One comment I keep hearing from women who had kids many years ago is that they never got to see their babies with such accuracy (think 3D scans) and were never tested (think 10 week chromosomal tests or nuchal screening) for as many things as we are now.

I think that's a blessing and a curse.

The ultrasound technology really is fascinating.  It is such a treat to get to see the baby up close and personal so early into the pregnancy.  The 3D technology is also incredible.  I didn't know when we got our nuchal screen that the facility had 3D and just did it for you as part of the exam.

A 3D baby at 13 weeks looks frighteningly like a velociraptor in case you're curious.  I much prefer looking at them on the 2D ultrasound at this stage of the game.

The other testing offered tells you so much about the baby's health at such an early age (as early as 10 weeks), but leaves you wondering....what would you do if you found out your baby was really not going to develop normally?

When you find out you're pregnant and start telling people they naturally get excited and can't wait for you to tell EVERYONE.  But I experienced a fair amount of anxiety as it related to telling more and more people because of all.the.tests.

I felt like it wasn't safe to tell people because...what if?

When you first get pregnant some people advise to only tell people about it that you would want to tell if you had a miscarriage.  Meaning, if you tell 40 people the amazing news early on that you're expecting and you lose the baby, you 40 people to recount the sadness of your miscarriage to.

We're blessed that Baby B is healthy and developing normally.  But it's just now, at 14 weeks and a clean nuchal scan that I am feeling OK telling people beyond immediate family.  Our plan was to announce the baby broadly on Valentines Day this past Saturday but we didn't for two reasons...

1.  The announcement for social media is not V-day specific, but some of our initial ideas were
2.  We had a lot of personal (non-baby) things to deal with over the past couple of weeks that just left us feeling like we wanted to make the announcement under less stressful conditions for us

The bottom line for couples is, you get to announce to who you want, when you want, how you want.  If that's at 2 weeks, 6 weeks or 20 weeks, the choice is yours alone (unless someone spills the beans, which does happen sometimes unfortunately).  Make sure you're clear with the people you're telling, even if it feels really awkward, whether you're ok with them telling others or if it's a secret they need to keep to themselves for a little bit longer.  Most people we told at 6 or 10 weeks were so excited they're in the know early on they kept their lips zipped.

For the people who know the couples and know about the baby, just rest assured, when they are ready...really ready... to share the happy news with a broader audience you have to trust them that they will let you know when it's finally public information.

First OB Visit and Nuchal Translucency Scan

Our progression of ultrasounds and Dr's appointments has been slightly unconventional since we used a fertility specialist to make our little kiwi.

I had ultrasounds at 6 weeks (it looked like a marble), 10 weeks (it looked like a BABY!), 12 weeks (at our first OB appt) and 13 weeks (nuchal translucency scan).

At 12 weeks we met our OB, Dr E.  Dr. E is the dad of our fertility specialist.  Their offices are literally across the hallway from one another.  We had such a positive experience with Dr. A that it made sense to at least meet her dad and see if he'd be the one we wanted to use as our Dr. going forward for my care.

Dr. E is Iranian, I am too (well at least half Iranian).  Meeting him and hearing his soothing accent and jovial demeanor I knew from the get go he was our guy.  It felt like having family care for me if that makes any sense.  I just felt completely at ease.

He asked several times if we had questions and while I had a couple, I feel like it's so easy now a days to get information and answers about pregnancy online and in books and I've had a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy besides the initial getting preggers part, that I didn't have much on my mind.

This was the first time Corey got to see the baby on the ultrasound since the 6 week scan.  I couldn't wait for him to see the tiny head, body, arms, legs, hands and feet.  The baby was somersaulting around and wiggling.  Then, it did one big stretch.  Cuteness overload.

The following Friday we had another ultrasound, this time to check the nuchal translucency.  This test assesses the quantity of fluid collecting within the nape of the baby's neck.  Increased fluid can be an indication of Downs Syndrome.

Baby Bruce passed the test with flying colors and is developing normally.  Measuring exactly the same length as his or her due date at 13 weeks and 4 days old.

We won't get to see Baby B again until 20 weeks when they do a full anatomy scan to make sure everything is still developing on target.  But, I will see my OB in another couple of weeks for another monthly check-in.

Week 13

Week 13 and 5 days!

Week 13 can be described in one word as...

I felt fairly normal in terms of energy, eating and overall well being.  Some things this week that came up...

Things definitely go better when I reverse eat...large breakfast, medium size lunch and tiny dinner.

I am able eat good for me things like fruits and veggies, and find that mainly due to my heartburn, that these things are more appealing actually than unhealthy foods because I know the unhealthy stuff  now = pain later.

I don't have my full energy reserves and it is easy to over do it.  Wednesday night I found myself on the couch in PJS by 6pm.

What I need to do is start exercising regularly now.  My goal is to walk at lunch for an hour every weekday.