When my husband and I married in August 2013, I was anxious to
start a family. I was 32 and not getting any younger. Just before the wedding I saw my regular GYN for a check-up and asked if I was healthy for babies, it was all systems go. She said to have fun and remember..."it can take up to a year to get pregnant, so just relax about it."
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| August 31, 2013 - Livermore, CA |
We were enjoying our life and jobs and trips and fun times, we
started “not, not trying” Spring 2014.
Because I wanted to better understand my cycle and body we also used OPKs, but I was not getting what I thought were
‘the right’ results. We used CBE with the 3 indicators…an empty circle, a
smiley face and flashing smiley.
I was testing at the right time following my periods
as directed. And my periods were normal,
coming every 31 days. I used the P-Tracker app to track my cycles and symptoms. However, with the OPKs I would
go from not fertile (empty circle) straight to peak fertility (flashing smiley)
with no solid smiley in between. I would
have no ovulation "symptoms" either most months.
It was so confusing. By late Summer we were trying officially and still unsuccessful month after month with dozens of OPKs and pregnancy tests in the trash bin.
I went to see my general practitioner who ran some tests on my thyroid (normal) and other things (all normal). She tested my progesterone levels (come to find out later, incorrectly timed) and prescribed me a course of Clomid. After talking to some friends who had taken that med, I was leery of the whole thing and never took the pills. Something about it just didn't feel right. My doctor was perfectly well-meaning, but I felt like I wanted to know what was wrong, not just throw medicine in my system. Maybe I didn't ask the right questions, maybe I was being too cautious...but I wasn't comfortable.
In October I had a 56 day cycle, this was the first time ever my
cycle had been so off. I took several
pregnancy tests, all of which were negative.
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| Waiting is the hardest part... |
I decided enough was enough and wanted to get some
answers so I yelp’ed…yes yelp’ed ‘fertility specialist’ and up popped a local
doctor with rave reviews.
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| Looking for good Indian food, or a baby doctor...it's all on yelp apparently! |
I talked to my husband who agreed to the $475 initial
office visit and we went in for an appointment in November 2014.
The internal ultrasound at that appointment revealed I
have lots of eggs (follicles actually, since eggs aren't visible via ultrasound). “Dangerously
Fertile” was the exact term the doctor used.
My diagnosis was PCOS which for me meant that although I have lots of follicles, I am not ovulating with any sort of
regularity. My
husband was in perfect health, no issues on his end.
Fortunately, Dr. Aimee seemed to think my issue was a
very treatable one. She looked at what my previous doctor had done and mentioned she is not a fan of Clomid and was happy I didn't embark on that course of treatment.
I timed the appointment just right and that night I started a course of Femara tabs (2.5mg), 1 tab per
night for 5 nights to stimulate my ovaries to release mature follicles. I was no worse for wear except for some fairly
awful headaches.
Femara has about a 15% per month chance of pregnancy resulting in women with PCOS, under 35, no other complications.
I went back in for an internal ultrasound and we saw there was one mature egg ready for release on each side! However, when I went in for a follow up ultrasound a few days later, neither cooperated and released to be fertilized.
Dr. Aimee was un-phased by it all and started me that
night on one more round of Femara (2.5mg), this time 2 tabs per night for 5
nights to try to stimulate my ovaries to release eggs again. I had bad headaches for the duration of the treatment,
but they were manageable and I was able to go about most of my daily activities
like working and riding my horse. I also had some very mild cramping and soreness in my abdomen.
The next ultrasound revealed three mature follicles, all of them
were of good size. We got nervous
at the thought of triplets.
Dr. Aimee asked if we were open to selective reduction
should all 3 fertilize, we said no. With
that answer in mind, she opted not to give me a trigger shot of HCG and sent us on our way back home to do the baby dance.
Two weeks later, I had a BFP!
4 weeks later, just a couple of days before Christmas,
I had my first ultrasound that confirmed we had conceived one baby.
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| Hi Baby! |
Best Christmas gift ever.
I had an ultrasound yesterday and baby looked like, a baby! Head, body, arms, hands, legs and feet. It was wiggling around like crazy and had a strong heartbeat.
My advice…
1. If you feel like
something isn’t working correctly with your body, don’t wait for a full year of
trying to go see the doctor. It took me 3 doctors and listening to my gut to get to the right treatment. Find a fertility specialist who will see you now and do a proper workup.
We could have tried an entire year as recommended and not had a baby, but
with weird OPK results and that one long cycle, I knew my body was not working
correctly so I sought help.
2. Find a doctor who has
a positive outlook on your situation. I
never once made to feel like things were hopeless, or that there was something
terribly wrong with my body, my doctor was the epitome of positivity meaning she
explained things simply, didn't overwhelm me, took things one step, ultrasound
and treatment at a time.
3. Take it one step and
appointment at a time. Just because one
step didn't work, doesn’t mean the next one won’t do the trick.
4. Be careful on the internet. There are a lot of stories online of people struggling with fertility, each case, YOUR case is
individual to you. Your story is your story. I felt compelled to share mine to inspire hope, since I didn't find many stories where things were a simple fix, but it is possible!
5. Have faith! This one should actually go first I think. Wanting and waiting for something you want so bad is so difficult. I waited years and years for my wonderful husband and didn't meet him until I was in my 30's. I watched on the sidelines as most of my friends found love, got married and had their babies while I was either in terrible relationships, or single. I was in the weddings, throwing the showers and trying to put on a happy face, but it hurt so bad. Singleness in my late 20's and early 30's nearly did me and my faith in.
In contrast though it seems like I didn't have to wait nearly as long in comparison for a baby (although those 10 months felt like a long time from when we started in March to when we got our BFP in December).
Everyone's journey, struggles and waits are different, but that's the time when God strengthens you and readies you for what He has for you in His perfect timing. I had to learn not to fight Him so hard.
Trust the timing for YOUR life. It's no fun once you get your blessing to look around sheepishly to see you've been selfish and hurtful towards your friends who got to the finish line before you did. I know from experience on both ends of this, I've pushed away people because they had the life I wanted so bad and it hurt to be close to them and I've also experienced being the one pushed away from.
Be happy with those who are happy; weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
What I know for sure, is when you get the desires of your heart, when you see God's goodness and know that good gift was from waiting on Him, you will also have peace knowing it could not have happened any other way and that the lost time and tears pale in comparison to the blessing coming in your right time and the change in you as God molded you during your wait.
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
Psalm 84:11
Glossary of terms:
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
BFP = Big Fat Positive Pregnancy Test
PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
CBE = Clear Blue Easy
